[Nill pauses a little, wiping her hands on the hem of her skirt. Some of the cans had something sticky on them; probably a can that burst on them before they were stuffed in here.]
There were no seasons there. It was cold all the time-- maybe it was warm above-ground, but I never went there.
[After a brief moment of pause, Nill lets out a soft sigh, finally turning to Lisbeth. She grabs three cans, and sets them on top of each other, then taps the middle can with her finger. This is where she was, see?]
[Lisbeth furrows her brow as Nill demonstrates how her world was built. Then she brought up that one question that's been bothering her ever since she met her -]
[Nill taps the middle can again. Then her finger drifts down to tap the bottom can, as well.]
Only a few kinds of people live in the places that I've lived.
[She's not quite looking at Lisbeth, though. Instead she puts her finger between the top and middle cans, and pushes the tower over so that all three fall. They don't explode, thankfully, but Lisbeth probably shouldn't open those ones.
It isn't exactly that Nill wants to be truthful about it with Lisbeth. It's just that most people don't ask, and the ones that do probably wouldn't actually want to hear the answer. Lisbeth does, though, and she isn't the sort of person that needs to be protected from truths like this one.]
I don't know which memory is real. In one I was young, and they were pulled out. In the other, I was like this as long as I can remember. Maybe they took them when I was born.
People like me are meant to be less than human, and that's how they made sure we stayed that way.
[People like her.. Lisbeth's mind begins to race and it calls back to the conversation they'd had before over the Network. Nill had mentioned girls sold for sex and..
[Nill extends her wings, although she doesn't look at Lisbeth. She picks up the can that had been on the very bottom of the tower, holding it in her hand.]
People with qualities like mine, not slaves. They didn't want us to be more than human, so they made us less.
[Her fingers tighter around the can, and she lifts her head, before throwing the can into the garbage bin.]
...I was still human enough as far as they were concerned to be a slave too, though.
[Shit, this was awkward. This was why Lisbeth couldn't or didn't keep friends. It was difficult to have a regular conversation with her. She felt a little despair.]
[She pauses a little though, glancing down at the cans on the ground again, the two that had made the upper two levels of her tower. After a moment, she shakes her head, and looks back up at her.]
Good people don't exist. People are just people, and some are kinder than most, and some are crueler than most.
If good people existed, then maybe I was one of them a long time ago...
[She thinks of Jesse; of the way she's been manipulating him, the way she almost sold her soul for power (and still might), the things she wanted to do to the hunters that had hurt Shika and Yosuke and the things that kept making her life hell over and over and over again...]
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[Nill pauses a little, wiping her hands on the hem of her skirt. Some of the cans had something sticky on them; probably a can that burst on them before they were stuffed in here.]
There were no seasons there. It was cold all the time-- maybe it was warm above-ground, but I never went there.
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It was underground? Why?
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I don't know why.
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Why can't you speak?
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Only a few kinds of people live in the places that I've lived.
[She's not quite looking at Lisbeth, though. Instead she puts her finger between the top and middle cans, and pushes the tower over so that all three fall. They don't explode, thankfully, but Lisbeth probably shouldn't open those ones.
It isn't exactly that Nill wants to be truthful about it with Lisbeth. It's just that most people don't ask, and the ones that do probably wouldn't actually want to hear the answer. Lisbeth does, though, and she isn't the sort of person that needs to be protected from truths like this one.]
I don't know which memory is real. In one I was young, and they were pulled out. In the other, I was like this as long as I can remember. Maybe they took them when I was born.
People like me are meant to be less than human, and that's how they made sure we stayed that way.
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Lisbeth felt her heart drop. No..]
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People with qualities like mine, not slaves. They didn't want us to be more than human, so they made us less.
[Her fingers tighter around the can, and she lifts her head, before throwing the can into the garbage bin.]
...I was still human enough as far as they were concerned to be a slave too, though.
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Are you an angel or were you just born with wings?
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[She spreads her wings out behind her, and glances back at them.]
I'm not sure which one should be "real". In one set of memories, I had them as long as I can remember. In the other, it was an experiment.
Either way, I'm no angel.
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We can talk about something else. I'm not the best conversationist, though.
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We're fine. That wasn't really a regular conversation, anyway.
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Exactly.
[Lisbeth couldn't have regular conversations at all. She's silent for a bit until she finally blurts out]
You're a good person.
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[She pauses a little though, glancing down at the cans on the ground again, the two that had made the upper two levels of her tower. After a moment, she shakes her head, and looks back up at her.]
Good people don't exist. People are just people, and some are kinder than most, and some are crueler than most.
If good people existed, then maybe I was one of them a long time ago...
[She thinks of Jesse; of the way she's been manipulating him, the way she almost sold her soul for power (and still might), the things she wanted to do to the hunters that had hurt Shika and Yosuke and the things that kept making her life hell over and over and over again...]
...but I'm not anymore.
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I think you're a good person. That carries alot of weight.
[If she could say so herself.]
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That was probably for the best. The better people thought of her these days, the more she could do.]
Thank you.
[Another lie to add to the pile. If she just keeps lying, no one will be able to reach her at the top of the mountain of them.
If she keeps lying, it'll become truth eventually, and nothing will hurt ever again.]
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Good.